Hey Guys.

February 13, 2007

The transfer is complete. Please change all your bookmarks to: http://www.iserveidiots.com and stop using the ryaneday.wordpress.com link. It will only send you back to here and no new stories are coming here. They’re all going to http://www.iserveidiots.com.

Thanks,
Ryan


The Apocolypse Is Now.

February 10, 2007

Hey guys. The site’s gonna be down for the next couple of days. I’m changing hosting plans and doing a few other things to make the site a little better.

In the meantime, go to http://www.ashersarlin.com.

Affectionately Yours,
Ryan


Dear Self-Righteous Readers Of My Site,

February 8, 2007

It would seem as though the recent string of readers of this site hold themselves in such high regard that they would never DREAM of raising their voice to a customer and even the NOTION that a $4 tip on a $120 bill is wrong makes me un-frickin-grateful. Some have even gone so far as to imply that (as one email put it) “all my stories are 100% bullshit”.

Hey jackasses, want to know why I sometimes fly off the handle in my stories…or why I don’t always take the “higher, moral road”? Because these stories are true and decent people (such as myself) don’t always remain calm and they CERTAINLY care when they’re given a few bucks on an hour and a half worth of work. It certainly doesn’t help when it’s work for some ungrateful, ignorant, idiotic customers.

So before I get another email telling me how I should just shut up, accept my dollar an hour in wages (after taxes) and “be oh so grateful” for my tips, take a minute to think how you’d feel if you spent 90 minutes serving a family of four blacks and all you got out of it was $1.80 at the end of the night and the tag of “racist”.

This is the last thing I’ll write on this subject. Do you people know just how easy it would be for me to twist the stories around to where I looked like a saint in the face of such stupidity and ignorance? Do you? But I don’t. I write about what truly happens and sometimes I come out looking good. Sometimes I come out with egg on my face. I’m sorry that for the 30 or so hours a week I’m a server, I don’t go by the book 100% of the time and that sometimes, I get upset. Sometimes, I write what I’m thinking. Sometimes I might ask a customer why I got a bad tip (which is, coincidentally, encouraged by management). Sometimes I might get upset and show a little emotion. Sometimes I get downright pissed when I’m walked all over and have a buck to show for it.

So for all those things and more, I’m sorry.

Good night and good luck, Chris.


What Am I Gonna Do With 2,000 Unique Visitors A Week?

January 24, 2007

Point them in the direction of some much better literature than this garbage:

1. http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/michael/12-20-06.htm

– This is my roommate Mike. I think he writes non-fiction much better than I do and his life, at face value, is much funnier than my own. Those two things make for much better articles than my troubles with a crappy customer at my restaurant. The only problem is, he doesn’t get himself into enough trouble to write with the sort of regularity that I or his adoring fans clamor for. Read this column first and then try out his others. Oh yea…and comment the hell out of them.

2. http://www.violentacres.com

– If you ever wondered how Maddox’s vagina would sound if you taught it to read and write, you’ve found your answer right here. This woman (or man…no one knows for sure) writes anonymously and with a lot more frequency than many other internet writers (5-6 articles a week) of her caliber. She’s as smart and quick-witted as any blogger out there and deserves the book deals and critical acclaim that lesser writers (see: Tucker Max) have garnered over the years.

3. http://www.chadsreviews.com

– The only problem I have with this guy is he’s a fake and some (if not all) of his articles about his life are downright lies. On the other hand, he’s funny and I could give two shits if it’s fiction, non-fiction, barnyard pornography…if it’s funny, it’s funny. Check this guy out immediately. He, like Violent Acres, writes with a lot of regularity but will take month-long (or sometimes two-month long) breaks every once in a while. There’s a lot of good material here, though, so you should be entertained enough reading the past articles.

4. http://www.ashersarlin.com

– One of the funniest cartoonists on the web today. It’s surprising the guy is still in college. I only wish he’d make a cartoon more frequently than once every two weeks. There’s years worth of stuff to keep you busy while pretending to do that paper on The Bay of Pigs at the school library.

EDIT:
5. http://www.thegirlwho.net

– It’s the only site on this list to not be focused solely on comedy, but it’s honest. And above all else, I value honesty in a writer’s work because it’s honesty that readers can relate to and take something from more than anything else.

Tell me what you guys think.

DIGG This!


It Doesn’t Stop With You, Does It?

October 25, 2006

Dear Your Saviour,

I looked up your most recent IP address and I’m pretty sure the University of Toronto’s Computing and Network Services Department would look unfavorably on you using their computers and resources to launch into tirades on some guy’s blog about serving.

I took it upon myself to email the head of the department so he can either fire you for being on my site on company time (if you work there) or bar you from using their computers ever again (if you go to school there or visit there).

Have a nice life up in Toronto, big guy.

Love,
Ryan


Bonus Post For The Night.

October 23, 2006

For all those that remember our friend “Your Saviour” and know ANYTHING about computers and can do something about it, his IP address is:

72.141.173.94

He’s also from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. So try not to be too harsh.