Dear Self-Righteous Readers Of My Site,

It would seem as though the recent string of readers of this site hold themselves in such high regard that they would never DREAM of raising their voice to a customer and even the NOTION that a $4 tip on a $120 bill is wrong makes me un-frickin-grateful. Some have even gone so far as to imply that (as one email put it) “all my stories are 100% bullshit”.

Hey jackasses, want to know why I sometimes fly off the handle in my stories…or why I don’t always take the “higher, moral road”? Because these stories are true and decent people (such as myself) don’t always remain calm and they CERTAINLY care when they’re given a few bucks on an hour and a half worth of work. It certainly doesn’t help when it’s work for some ungrateful, ignorant, idiotic customers.

So before I get another email telling me how I should just shut up, accept my dollar an hour in wages (after taxes) and “be oh so grateful” for my tips, take a minute to think how you’d feel if you spent 90 minutes serving a family of four blacks and all you got out of it was $1.80 at the end of the night and the tag of “racist”.

This is the last thing I’ll write on this subject. Do you people know just how easy it would be for me to twist the stories around to where I looked like a saint in the face of such stupidity and ignorance? Do you? But I don’t. I write about what truly happens and sometimes I come out looking good. Sometimes I come out with egg on my face. I’m sorry that for the 30 or so hours a week I’m a server, I don’t go by the book 100% of the time and that sometimes, I get upset. Sometimes, I write what I’m thinking. Sometimes I might ask a customer why I got a bad tip (which is, coincidentally, encouraged by management). Sometimes I might get upset and show a little emotion. Sometimes I get downright pissed when I’m walked all over and have a buck to show for it.

So for all those things and more, I’m sorry.

Good night and good luck, Chris.


15 Responses to Dear Self-Righteous Readers Of My Site,

  1. Cat says:

    Your previous blog which inspired your explanations in this one is the perfect demonstration of why I could never do what you do- I would be shoving people’s faces into soup bowls and swearing at them constantly. I wouldn’t last a week.

    You have my deepest respect for not losing your cool a lot more than you do.

  2. megan says:

    i think you are completely justified in calling these people on their bullshit tip. not only that, but i think you probably would called them out no matter who you were. sometimes, you just have to stand up for yourself.

  3. megan says:

    who they were, sorry.

  4. David says:

    Take a deep breath. Aaaand Relax. I agree with your position and attitude regarding tips. If the events you write are accurate then you have every position to be annoyed. To me its an odd situation because waiters here in the UK are paid at least minimum wage, which as about $10 per hour I think. So people dining in the US should know that waiters rely in their tips.

    If you were that bad (as some posters seem to think), then market forces would act accordingly. First, people would stop coming to the restaurant, and secondly your manager would sack you. They haven’t and she hasn’t.

    Now that I’ve got that out the way: There are lots of unhappy angry people about, and talk is cheap. Its EASY to write a message in a forum like this. Look, I am doing it now! So while most people (I hope) see your posts as a funny and interesting diversion, there will always be people there to put you down. There are lots of reasons why people do this but while you have an open forum people will make crazy comments (like me). So, you could close this part of your blog, or you could simply ignore them, but you can never stop people having opinions.

  5. Zack says:

    yea dude, what you did all though unorthodox of a waiter, you were totally justified, although i just think that people are taking offense to what ur saying because of the way you write about black people. but i agree with you dude…keep writing

  6. Rob says:

    Hey Ryan –

    After reading your post yesterday, I went out with a buddy and some of his black friends from work for happy hour drinks and apps. This is at a fairly nice lounge/bar, drinks are usually 8 – 10 bucks and apps are about the same, but at happy hour everything is half off. Anyway, the waiter is doing a great job, even comped one of the guys a dessert because they were out of the one he ordered. Meanwhile, the black guys are treating the waiter like shit, returning food for no reason, making the poor guy run up and down the stairs every five minutes, the works. I snuck at peek at their bill at the end of the evening, and on 80 bucks, half off to 40, they tipped 3 bucks.

    As I was walking out I gave the waiter a 20. You guys shouldn’t have to deal with that crap.

  7. Chris says:

    Because you have a blog where you dish it but cant take it you think you’re Edward R Murrow now?

    Turn off your comments if you’re going to whine like a baby every time someone disagrees with your actions. and have enough balls to call me out publicly instead of making a post that not so vaguely picks apart my first post.

    I never said all your stories were 100% bullshit I said that the one I posted about was. I said it because any restaurant worth a damn would have fired you on the spot for such a display. I guess the one you work for isn’t worth a damn.

    You keep going back to the fact that “well I didn’t get a tip” blah blah blah blah waaaaah waaaah waaah…yet you claim it wouldnt have made a difference because the night was so slow. Seems to me that would make that excuse TOTALLY moot and pretty much a bullshit.

    waaaah waaah waaaah I only get paid a few bucks an hour if you don’t tip waaaah waaaah waaaah. Deal with it. You took this job, you knew the stipulations on your pay, if you cant hack it and are going to complain about it QUIT.
    There are a lot of douchbags out there. A lot of people don’t tip well and a lot of people do tip well. You take the good with the bad and you deal with it. You don’t yell at people because they don’t meet your expectations.

    “Although I presumptuously use his sign-off each night, in feeble tribute, I have utterly no claim to the words of the exemplary journalist Edward R. Murrow”

  8. Chris says:

    and whats with the tone change?

  9. Ryan says:

    Although i dont dine out all that often, I believe that tipping depends on where you go, how much you spend, and how many people there are in the party.

    For example, if its a two person party (and you do not order a lot of expensive food), I think it would be acceptable for a 10% or so tip. Just because someone is taking out a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend, doesnt mean they have to break the bank.

    Providing good service does not always equate to getting a high dollar tip. On the other hand, if its a larger party and good service is provided, then i would expect maybe a 15-20% tip.

  10. Ryan says:

    Chris – Don’t think too highly of yourself as to believe that my post was entirely about you. I talked about quite a few comments I’ve received (from several people) and I was calling out a half dozen or so of you. Not just you, Chris.

    So please…chill…and don’t look so deeply into this. I just got done watching “Good Night And Good Luck”. That’s all. I wasn’t making any sort of parallel between myself and Mr. Murrow.

    Unless of course, you consider this investigative journalism.

    P.S. Do you think your boss at Ameritech would approve of you using office time and work computers to berate some little ol’ blogger like me?

  11. Hannah says:

    Apparently Ameritech isn’t worth a damn either…

  12. Cary says:

    It sucks that you had to explain yourself – I know you must have gotten an awful lot of heat for what you wrote for you to do that.

    If it’s any consolation, I know how you feel and I certainly don’t think you’re a racist for what you said. People are assholes, regardless of skin color.

    Even though I’ve never been a waiter, I have worked at Starbucks for almost two years now; I’ve had my fair share of assholes and everytime a teenagae girl treats me like a moron because I put whipped creamed on her frapp and I should know she’s on a diet or an old man yells that all he wants his a “regular” and that I should know what that means or a middle aged woman insists that I have no idea how to make her oh so complicated latte I have to hold my tounge and let it pass. Does this mean I’ve become sexist/ageist? No. It means I’ve come to accept that people are assholes.

    End of story.

  13. T-bone says:

    MY wife is Chinese. She moved to America with me about a year ago.She had never even met a Black person before coming to America. Anyway.. Her first job was as a waitress at a TGI Fridays. Within a week she was reporting that NObody at her work..Black/Wjite Asian etc..wanted anywhere near the Black guests. She said: “They abuse you and leave you nothing” There IS something to it. P.S. Now, She’s a great tipper.

  14. Ann says:

    You seem to get a better quality of Crazy in your resto than I did.

    I had boorish, bad tippers, but my cool stories are few & far between.

    I haven’t read the comments from the folks who think you’re making things up, but I really do think that if you’ve waited tables for an extended amount of time, you’ll fully believe all the stories here. The Crazy happens, people. Fear it. Believe it. And be glad you don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis.

  15. imparare says:

    Interesting comments.. 😀

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