Every Time A Black Person Calls Me Racist, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

Tonight, a family of four came in. We have community tables that seat up to about 10. There was a family of four sitting on one side of the table and I sat the four menus on the other four table settings.

This, of course, is a cardinal sin against black people.

Black Woman: “Why can’t we get our o’n table!?”
Me: “Well…ma’am…this is how the seating works. It’s like a community table and the chef just comes out, cooks everyone’s food at the same…”
Black Woman: “You can’t tell us w’ere we can and can’t sit! You don’ hafta say dat ’cause we’s black.”
Me: “Uh…I wasn’t…I was just saying that…”
Black Woman: “I’ve haff a min’ to file a discrimination suit ‘gainst ya.”
Me: “Is that a joke?”
Black Woman: “No.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought it was a big joke.”

Why is it some black people feel entitled to special treatment? Oh, that’s right…because of all those slaves I’ve owned and all those Million Man Marches I’ve demonstrated against. That and I strangled Martin Luther King Jr to death with my own two hands.

And why is it when they don’t receive that special treatment they feel it is me “holding them down”. People, that’s how our restaurant works. It’s not racism or discrimination.

So I seat them, smile politely, and take their drink and dinner orders. I tell them that because they wanted a seperate table, it will take a little longer for a chef to come out.

Black Woman: “What fo’?”
Me: “Well, we only have two chefs on and you’re the third table to be sat. If you’d like your food a little quicker, you can sit at the table that I was showing you earlier.”
Black Woman: “But why is it gonna take longa fo’ us?”
Me: “Okay. You’re the third table. There’s two chefs. They can only cook one table at a time. That’s why we have large community tables that can hold eight people…so everyone gets their food faster.”
Black Woman: “Whate’er.”

Obviously, there’s no place for logic in a brain so filled with racism-paranoia and ignorance.

As I was walking away from the table, I heard the little girl at the table I tried to seat the black people at when they came in, point at the black family and say (within earshot of the black family of four), “Daddy, do they hate us?”

Cue laughter for me and the white family. Cue embarassment for the black family.

After the dinner, I brought them the check. I was polite and helpful throughout the entire dinner, even taking time away from other tables to show the black father how to use his chopsticks and getting them every to-go sauce they could ever need. I wanted to be overly-nice to this black family to prove a point to myself.

See, to many readers of this site, my stories could be complete horseshit. I could be the worst server in the world and could just be using that to fish for customers to get pissed so I have material to work with.

But I’m neither. I’m a decent server and a good guy. And I wanted proof that, regardless or my attitude and quality of service, I was going to get stiffed on my tip by a black family of four that is just looking for a way to “get back at the man” for all those things white people did to blacks before I was even conceived.

So out comes the bill: $110.98. Pretty hefty bill for four people. The boyfriend of the black woman that argued with me earlier gave me $115 and sad, verbatim, “Keep the change as your tip.” My fate was sealed. They were going to leave me a $4 tip on over $110 worth of food. That’s about a 3% tip on some damn good service.

It was here that I. Just. Lost it.

I looked the boyfriend in the eye and asked him point-blank, “Do you want your four-dollar tip back?”

He didn’t respond. In fact, I said it so loudly, patrons at the bar looked over and started giving the man dissapointed looks. He looked a little embarassed, but instead of facing it like a man, he took the path of a coward and walked out the door.

Then the black woman with whom I argued passed me and I said even louder, “Do you WANT your FOUR-DOLLAR TIP BACK.” She replied, “No” and kept on walking.

It was then that I stared in the eyes of the father with whom I had taught to use chopsticks. I looked at him, beet-red in the face, and asked just as loudly, “Would you like the FOUR-DOLLAR TIP BACK. YOU GUYS OBVIOUSLY NEED IT.” He just frowned and kept on walking.

Finally, the mother walked by me. I just stared at her, still beet-red, still furious. I didn’t say a word to her until she was so close she could hear my louder-than-normal heart rate. In a whsiper, I said:

Me: “How dare you.”
Her: “What?”
Me: “How dare you and your family.”

And then she as well walked out the door.

It was a slower-than-usual night and they wouldn’t have made that much of a difference if they had, indeed, tipped me well. But it’s ignorance and downright social idiocy that gets my blood boiling.

My manager told me after they left that the father came back in looking for me. I saw him open the door, but I didn’t want to look at him again. I knew I couldn’t hide the obvious disgust from my face.

Don’t pin the strained relationship between whites and blacks in this country solely on white people. True, it is mostly past white’s faults that blacks are still at a level of inferiority economically, socially and academically in this country. But there are those still in this country that revel in the strained relationship and feed that beast the ignorance and stupidity it so craves.

If they treat me, a white man that put forth an effort to provide great service to them, with this kind of disrespect how do they treat people the way they treated me?

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41 Responses to Every Time A Black Person Calls Me Racist, An Angel Gets Its Wings.

  1. Greg says:

    I work in a movie theater and have to deal with the racist card getting played all the time. The other day, a man came out after his movie and complained that the auditorium was cold. I told him that I would have someone check on it and appologized for the problem.

    Him: “Feel my hands, they’re freezing.”
    Me: “Ah, no thanks, I’ll take your word for it.”
    Him: “No, really, feel them, they are really cold.”
    Me: “Sorry, sir, we’re not allowed to touch customers, but I assure you that I’ll have someone take care of it right away.”

    As I reached for my pen on the counter, he grabs my hand, which naturally causes me to jerk my hand away. The next words out of his mouth were “you don’t have to be afraid to touch me becuase I’m black.”

    Now, mind you, this was a 50-something black man who was definately in the “creepy” category. (I’m not entirely certain, but when he came in, I’m pretty sure he was doing his best to flirt with me.) Call me crazy, but I don’t like to touch creepy old men, regardless of skin color.

  2. Paul says:

    Do you know what the father came back in for?

  3. bryan says:

    It still baffles me that they still so quickly assume that if they are being treated differently it is because they are black. Next time when they accuse you of not giving them their own table because they are black, just tell them that they are incorrect. Black people get their own table, stupid people have to share.

  4. Chris says:

    Maybe you should look inward if ignorance and social idiocy gets your blood boiling, because ignorant and social idiot are about the only words I can think of to describe you. You obviously think quite fondly of yourself, maybe others don’t consider your service and attitude so great and THAT is why you got a 4 dollar tip. Frankly I think the story is 100% bullshit because any restaurant worth a damn would have fired you on the spot for a display like that. If I was a customer in the restaurant at the time I would have been talking to your supervisor then calling the corporate office and making 100% sure you didn’t work there before I would EVER come back. You are the kind of piece of shit that perpetuates reverse racism.

  5. David P says:

    Chris – I know Ryan, he’s a really good guy. I understand how you can think what you wrote, but he’s legitamately a nice guy. I played in a band with him all through high school and stupidity really does piss him off (as it should). That being said, your self-empowered belief that Ryan is in fact the self-righteous man that you think he is, is completely unfounded. That and he’s worked there for a while, and if you read his past posts, he has a pretty good relationship with the managers.

  6. Hannah says:

    Chris…Please, for your own sake, remember this: A $4 tip is NEVER appropriate, regardless of HOW bad the service sucked. Maybe if your server, I don’t know, never brings you your food, THEN you can tip $4 on $110. The point of the tipping system is that you pay a percentage of the food that was served to you…The fact that the food was served to you is the basis of your tip. If the food WAS served to you, but the service was poor, prove your point by leaving, say, 10%. I’m pretty sure Ryan isn’t lying for the sake of lying, and it sounds like his service was good, especially considering the way things started out…And for good service, you tip 20%.

    Again, REMEMBER before you go out in public EVER AGAIN.

  7. Dave says:

    Chris, you obviously have never worked in customer service before. I agree with the fact that Ryan probably did not handle it in the best way possible though. Professionalism is not only respect for yourself, but respect for the restaurant or company you work for. However Chris sounds like the piece of shit that would leave a 4 dollar tip on a 100+ bill. Also Chris, do you think they REALLY pay Ryan enough to give a fuck WHAT you think? The answer to that is no in case one of your IQ points under 5 didn’t assemble it on its own. The average joe works to get by and make some money for themselves. Waiters and waitresses sole income for the most part is TIPS. So Chris, would you work for a company for 3 dollars an hour? If your answer is no, then your whole post was a collaboration of diahhrea. Now give me back my 10 seconds of life spent reading your post.

  8. Mary says:

    It would be one thing to call Ryan racist if his posts were about how all black people are idiots and he never wants to serve another another again. But he writes about stupid people, and his stories show pretty clearly that people can be rude, arrogant jerks regardless of age, gender, or race. If the people in this story were white, he still would have posted it because they were stupid. The only difference is that they played the race card–they brought race into it, not him.

  9. Ryan says:

    Chris, believe what you will, but I don’t make stuff up. What about my story sounds so “unbelieveable”?

    Secondly, there’s no such thing as “reverse racism”. It’s all racism. No matter what.

  10. Caitlin S. says:

    I 100% agree with you in this case that you got the shaft completely. It’s bullshit what this family did to you after you catered to their every need and no one should be treated as you were. I would like to add something in favor of black people though. It always bothered me when people at work would give up a table if it were black people because the wait staff assumed they would tip poorly so I started a study. In my restaurant, most of the patrons are middle class, white families. We probably have twenty-thirty white families to every one black family. My study was to keep track of the tips from the black families and average them out at the end of three weeks. I had about fifteen black patrons on the list when i figured out the average. It came out to be 18.5% which surprised me greatly. The average would’ve been much higher but on one occasion I had a black teenage couple come in and tip me 5%. The bill was small and they were a very easy table so I wasn’t too hurt by it but it still sucked. All I’m saying is that although you got screwed on this occasion, it could’ve been any other family. The whole slavery and white people oppressing black people is a card played too often but just remember it could’ve been anyone.

  11. There are an awful lot of Black people who tip well (for me and for most of my friends 20% is standard) and and there are a lot of white people who don’t tip well at all. I think it has a lot to do with familiarity with restaurant/fine dining culture, with upbringing and social class, and other non race-based factors.

  12. Bill says:

    Man Ryan. It’s only the 8th of Feb. and you have 3 posts for the month already. I hope this is not a trend for you to get this many so soon.
    (Once again, the following statement is for entertainment purposes only. Not to be taken seriously)
    With all these experiances you’re having with black people/couples/families give a whole new twist to Black History Month to me. It’s like you’re going to get a new “story” every day of the month.

  13. Ryan says:

    Oh, shit.

    I completely forgot it was Black History Month. No more articles focusing on black people. I’ll dig through my archives to only post about white people.

  14. Bill says:

    Like any of us really care about who you write about or the color of their skin. Idiots is idiots no matter the “color” of their skin. Keep on writing about who you want to write about.

  15. Chris says:

    In response to all your comments.
    I flew a bit off the handle on that post and I apologize. Half the reason I did it was because the editing / my skimming of the post lead me to believe there were 3 separate incidents he was talking about. Unfortunately here wasn’t a way to edit the post when it was brought to my attention that it was one story. I still don’t think it was right and i think its important to take the moral high road in such a situation as yelling at someone isn’t going to help anything and truthfully will just make it worse.

    To the poster who claims im the kind of “piece of shit” who would leave a $4 tip. What leads you to believe that? My stance on social and racial issues? I say nothing about my tipping habits and because I think he handled the situation entirely incorrectly doesn’t mean I myself wouldn’t tip appropriately nor is their any way you could come to such conclusion using any type of logic. I love the fact that you want the 10 seconds it took you to read my post back…but you spent at least a few minutes afterward replying to it.

    Id like to point out that they probably didn’t think they got very good service with the stink they put up about when they got their food served to them etc. Maybe they were trying to make a point based on their perspective.

    I disagree about never being justified not leaving a tip. I can think of one time in my life where I didn’t leave a tip and I was ENTIRELY justified in doing it. (I can also think of several incidents where I was justified in not doing it but left one anyway) I was out eating at some dime-a-dozen restaurant and the waiter brought my party something none of us ordered. He told us to just keep it and he’d take it off the bill. I checked the bill at the end of the meal and lo and behold it was still on there. I said something, he went back to his manager and they refused to take it off. I was obviously VERY unhappy and as a result he didn’t receive a cent. I see no reason why I should tip him nor will you ever convince me otherwise.

    Ive worked customer service every day of the (work) week since I was 14 and trust me, I deal with people FAR more ignorant than you’ve EVER come across (Currently A downtown office that serves employees of a certain major metro area and employees of that state) I get called racist quite often, more times then not when delivering information that cI don’t let it effect me because I know my stance and if they want to be ignorant, thats fine. I’m not going to sink to their level and perpetuate an already sad situation.

    btw Ryan, mimicking speech while claiming you aren’t racist is one of the easiest ways to show you do in fact harbor tendencies toward racism. It NEVER looks good, you might as well be in black-face.

    Also Ryan, I actually like your blog, I can certainly relate to many of your situations.

  16. Em says:

    Um, Chris? I think it’s unfair that you say that “mimicking speech while claiming you aren’t racist is one of the easiest ways to show you do in fact harbor tendencies toward racism.” After all, if anyone else had spoken like that to him, he would have written it like that. Or do you forget the “Y’all HIRING?” lady? People have different speech patterns, and in some cases it’s appropriate to relate them in stories as they would have been said. Plus, I think it’s a little racist on your part by pointing out that that is, perhaps, how a stereotypical black person would talk. Dialects exist, and it’s not just what you see on TV. Being dead serious: I’ve heard WHITE people talk like that and I’m from a small suburban area up north. If they talked to me in a way and I’m telling a story, I’m repeating it.

  17. David P says:

    what a lot of people reading this site don’t know if they haven’t waited tables. ryan actually probably lost a couple bucks on this table. most places make you tip out your bus boys/barstaff/hostess if you have any.

  18. Ryan says:

    I tip out 55% of my tips to the chefs, bar and busboys. I made a grand total of $1.80 off that table, so you can see where my frustrations stem from.

  19. Ryan says:

    And I guess I wasn’t clear about the all-caps. It’s not so much that I yelled or berated them, I just boomed my voice a little louder than usual and emphasized the words a bit. That’s all.

    Also, other than raising my voice at the entrance/exit of the restaurant, I thought I did take the moral high road, Chris, what with 1) not refusing them service, 2) letting them sit wherever they wanted and 3) instructing them on how to use chopsticks.

  20. Hannah says:

    55%, are you kidding me? THAT is ridiculous…I can’t believe it’s that much! I would think 30% tops! I wouldn’t think you’d have to tip the chefs, but I guess that makes sense in the type of restaurant you work in…but still…Crazy.

  21. Ben says:

    Ryan, don’t let this uninformed douche get you down. Really, I wish I had the guts to say the stuff to the customers that you say when they give our waitresses problems. People are fucked up.

    If you walk into a restaurant and expected to be treated like a king, then turn around and walk back out. It isn’t worth your 5% tip to deal with you.

    Rage!

  22. matt says:

    I also serve idiots, any 50% of the time i serve black idiots, ya know what, the other 50% of the time i serve white idiots…

    I have waited tables for almost 10 years now. I would NEVER ask someone / yell at someone leaving that they forgot their 4 dollar tip, no matter what the bill is. Instant grounds for termination, no argument. Nearly all corporate type restaurants (chile’s, ruby tuesday, texas roadhouse) all would have fired you on the spot.

    If you start thinking your lively-hood is based on what each table tips you, then you have already lost the game.

    I think on a whole different level. How much did you make per hour in tips alone that night? Now add in that $3.90 or $3.09 you make per hour (my checks for roughly 70-80 hours every 2 weeks are 150-200 bucks). Yet I make on an average $15-$16 an hour, at least! Tonight I worked for 6 hours and came home with $194 in my pocket…yes a very good night. There are times when I would work for 12 hours and come home with less than minimum wage. It happens, deal with it.

    Now to be racist. White trash do not tip, black trash do not tip. Deal with it. Dont be the super waiter, dont have fun with them, give them shit…act like you really dont give a shit. I get tips out of my black tables, because I am a smart ass…I dont let them give me shit because I dont care! And on an average they dont tip, really you all dont tip! But do I really care? Hell no. I will make up for that by waiting on other tables who do tip me.

    I love, and i mean LOVE, when people say “that is going to effect your tip!” woopty-freakin-do…I am waiting on 20-30 more people tonight, do you really think that the 2-3 bucks you leave me is really going to hurt how I do over the course of a week? month? year? Nope, so go fuck your self-rightous ass. I DO NOT CARE.

    Ok now to the part of my story where I do agree with you, yes black folks on the average do want to be treated better. They think us “white boys” owe them something. And no on the whole, they dont tip worth a shit.

    Here is my bit of advise, just go along with what people want. Do what they say. Dont get an attitude, it really doesnt matter they will be gone in an hour. I dont let my job effect me, its EASY, EASY money…try working at a gas station like my roommate and feel jealous about the amount of money I make, yet still dealing with the same type of people.

    Ahh fuckit, im trashed, good luck….hope their arent many spelling errors and such, peace…

  23. Ryan says:

    Matt, where in the world are YOU working? $15-16 an hour? I wish.

    My hourly wage is a little over 3 bucks, BUT you also have to consider that after taxes are taken out, it adds up to less than a dollar an hour.

    Guys…this site isn’t about what’s right and wrong. It’s about what happens to me at work and the people I come across. Sometimes, I let my emotions get the better of me. Most of the time (as is evidenced by MOST of the posts) it’s just about idiots saying or doing things idiotic and me just going along for the ride.

    So don’t think you’re so high and mighty to not get pissed every once in a while when you not only get stiffed, but treated like shit in the process.

  24. matt says:

    I work at a Ruby Tuesday, we are a pretty low volume store which means there really arent that many waiters on. Most day shifts its 4-5 till 1pm, then just 2 till 4pm. At night we run with maybe 6 till around 7-8pm then its just 2 or 3 till close. I have worked at this store for 5 years so I can pretty much run the place, bartend, host, serve, manage, cook. I am also an excellent server, yup thats right ill talk myself up a bit. So yes I can make a killing here, a lot of times I will end up running 8-10 tables at once.

    And to comment on what you said about getting upset about a bad tip or just rude people…nope doesnt happen to me, I dont get mad. There is no reason to stress about it. You will get tipped on other tables, and other tables will put you in a good mood. Ive seen servers in tears over getting stiffed, just suck it up… 😛

  25. Jim says:

    If there’s a better definition of “self-righteous” than Matt, I haven’t found it.

    Keep it up, Ryan! Those of us that don’t have our heads up our own asses love the blog!

  26. matt says:

    I think you misunderstand, I dont make 15 bucks an hour wage, I make 3.90. Count in the tips, divide by how many hours you worked and look, you have what you made per hour…wow isnt math fun.

  27. Ben says:

    Matt, you’re seriously a pretentious douche bag…how dare you look down your nose at people for letting their tempers flair a little bit. More importantly, who the fuck do you think you are, giving advice to someone who’s probably as qualified as you in waiting tables? More importantly than that, why the fuck have you been working at a Ruby Tuesday’s for ten years? If I was stuck waiting tables for ten years, I’d kill myself.

    Then again, if I was as “self-righteous” as you, I’d also kill myself. People like you need to move to France where you belong.

  28. T-bone says:

    Ryan, I’m a “Lifer” server. All of what you have said has, at one time or another, happened to me. I’ve flipped out in anger and frustration too. As I got older I’ve learned to not let it bug me so much. USUALLY. I have my moments still. It’s a tough job. Many people cannot handle reality. It’s upsetting to them or they’re too P.C. to see it. It’s like denying that many Americans are Fat Fucks. We are. Ignoring that fact doesn’t make it go away.

  29. White Man Who Has Shagged 2 Negresses says:

    The worst tippers besides Europeans are religious black people. I don’t work in a restaurant, but I do work in hotels. The bellmen (all of whom are black) will tell you they hate it when black groups (especially church groups) come to stay, because they know they won’t make any money.

    Working the late shift in downtown Atlanta, I get a lot of potential customers who come in at night and try to run game (95% of whom are black). With my experience, I can smell the BS a mile away. When I call a black person on the BS, the next day they go complain to my black supervisor stating how rude and disrespectful I was.

    The bottom line is that black people can get away with anything because whites are too afraid of the race card being thrown at them.

    And by the way Ryan, my roommate was a waiter. He had this one customer that would always stiff him. Eventually the owner told the customer not to come back to the restaurant. My roommate then went out to the parking lot to confront that customer, explaining why the owner did what he did. The customer simply said, “I’m sorry. I have a family to support and don’t have the money.”

    WHY ARE YOU GOING OUT TO EAT IF YOU ARE THAT BROKE? If you can’t afford the tip, you can’t afford the meal. And yes, if you have a gift certificate, you still have to tip you cheapasses.

  30. Sabrina says:

    Hey I just read your post, I was shown this website because I was told it was racist, I’m black and I’m not offended. But I don’t think it was racism I just think the people were cheap. I work a call center for Metro PCS and I get people just like them calling and complaining about the littlest things (black and white). I hate playing their games where they want to argue over some bs hoping they’re going to get their way. Basically they should not have been there if they couldn’t afford to tip you well. Please trust me when I say not all black people are bad tippers. My dad seriously gives 20% and 25% if your really good. I don’t mind giving a good tip even if the service was bad because I am sure you waiters go through a lot at your jobs so its only fair.

  31. T-bone says:

    While I certainly agree with the FACT that Black people are ,generally, terrible tippers… why continue on and on about it? It’s a fact of life. Deal with it. It sucks but…it’s true. I’m with ya’s. but enough already.

  32. Maximus says:

    I would like to see a continuation of the topic

  33. N1GGRH8R says:

    Move to Iowa, where there are almost no niggers at all, then you can get a good tip.
    Let them rub shit on their big boot lips and lick it off.

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  35. noelanimahana says:

    I won’t call you a racist, but I will call you a hypocrite. I worked at a restuarant as a hostess and I can tell you…from the staff to the customers…in all shades…most are ignorant and feel entitled.

  36. Anonymous says:

    free car quote

    Excellent post. Keep it up!

  37. rafat says:

    every kind of person feels entitled. and, indeed, this post is a bit racist.

  38. N1GGRH8R says:

    I said it once, and I’ll say it again.

    Move to Iowa, where there are almost no niggers at all, then you can get a good tip.

    Let them rub shit on their big boot lips and lick it off.

  39. server says:

    Maybe if you need assured money, you shouldn’t work for tips. I have been a server over 15 years and believe me, it all comes out in the wash. Some tip you 30% and some tip you nothing. Europeans stiff me all the time. It is not a race issue. You sound like a whiney little baby “boo hoo, I didn’t get tipped ” Here is a tip, get a life.

  40. WTF says:

    If you spent as much time examining yourself…as you obviously spend sending this horribly negative energy out into the world…maybe you’d get better results. You really need to get a life, Ryan. And…I don’t know what rock you crawled from up under…but you ARE a racist. Poor, poor….you.

  41. Mark says:

    Your blog is funny, and I really enjoy it. I also don’t think you’re a racist. It sucks that people tip you badly and then you get the bigot insult thrown at you, too. This comment is just to counteract the morons who say you’re a racist or that you’re singling out black people. Some people just need to grow up and accept responsibility for their own lives and stop blaming it on people who have no connection to the root of their problems. Have a good day. 🙂

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