Sometimes I am in utter astonishment over the incompetence of some people. It’s as if they walk into a restaurant and all common sense and simple knowledge just flies out the window.
Take last night for example. I’m serving a party of four and two of the people order food from the kitchen and two order sushi from the sushi bar. It’s busy, so it’s next to impossible to time it out to where they get their food at the exact same time, but I’m a decent enough waiter to where I can get the four dinners out within ten or so minutes of one another.
“Ten or so minutes” is obviously too long for some people. Particularly, old people. Hey, I understand…you’ve only got so long to live and you need SUSHI in those precious twilight years!
And I knew they’d be like this, so I explained ahead of time: “Alright…just so you know, the sushi chef and kitchen staff are very busy, so the dinners may not come out at exactly the right time, but I’ll try my best to have it so you get them within a few minutes of one another.”
I was greeted with the same scowles and frowns I would have received had I told them Murder She Wrote was off the air.
The kitchen staff gets the dinners done first so I rush to the back, get the dinners (with steam still rising from the freshly-cooked food) and take them to the four geriatrics at Table 9.
Grandma 1: “What is this?”
Me: “Um…Steak and Scallops…I believe it’s…”
Grandma 1: “Why are we getting ours before them?”
Me: “Well, you see…the sushi chef is making theirs right now. It should only be another ten…”
Grandma 1: “Take this away and DON’T bring it back out until THEIRS is ready.”
Me: “But, ma’am…the food will get c…”
Grandma 1: “No excuses!”
What is it with old people and the phrase “No excuses”?
Whatever. She wants her food cold…let her have it cold. The sushi gets done a mere NINE MINUTES LATER and I go to bring out the sushi and the dinners at the same time. This does not sit well with the brontosaurus of a woman on my right.
Grandma 1: “This food is LUKEWARM! I demand an explanation!”
Me: “You told me to put it in the back until they got their sushi.”
Grandma 1: “But why isn’t it hot?”
Me: “Because…that’s what…uh…food does?”
Grandma 2: “My sushi’s fine, Evelynn.”
Grandpa 1: “So’s my filet.”
Grandpa 2: “Can I have some chopsticks?”
Dammit.
January 25, 2007 at 9:52 pm |
i don’t think “incontempt” is a word. if you meant “incompetent” i think thats quite ironic.
January 25, 2007 at 10:43 pm |
I meant “incompetence” but mis-typed. My bad.
January 26, 2007 at 3:03 am |
for the record, typing “incontempt” instead of “incompetent” isn’t ironic at all. funny coincidence, but not ironic.
January 26, 2007 at 4:47 am |
Jesus Christ, what kind of fucked up restaurant you’re working at? Vegas?
I would shoot grandmas like that!
January 26, 2007 at 5:54 am |
That ranks right up there with the woman that wanted room tempature water with ice. Don’t remember how old that dumb woman was but damn!!!
January 27, 2007 at 6:01 am |
Hey,
I never side with the people in your stories, seriously. But, one rule at the place I work at is to just leave the food under the heat lamp until everything is ready. However, if you don’t have a heat lamp there’s no excuse for how those people acted. Your cooks should be coordinating orders so they all finish close to each other though. That’s pretty basic shit.
Wasn’t that Colts game insane last Sunday?
January 27, 2007 at 12:23 pm |
1. Colts game was great. One of the better Championship games in a while.
2. It WAS under a heating lamp for about ten minutes. Her problem was that it wasn’t piping hot. And it’s hard to coordinate orders when your sushi chefs speak South Korean and your kitchen staff speaks Spanish, isn’t it?
January 28, 2007 at 1:01 am |
(Said PURELY for entertainment purposes)
Well then Ryan I guess you need to get a person of jewish decent to translate between the areas. You know? Somebody who speaks Kor-anish. I guess it would help if they were from southern Jeruselem. LOL!!!
February 5, 2007 at 12:10 am |
People just don’t seem to understand the shit you have to put up with when you waitress or cook. People seem to be under the impression that it is an easy job and you must be ignorant and only doing it because you can’t find a better job. Maybe the cook should learn to coordinate better, but when it’s busy- you do what you have to. If they don’t like it, they should keep there grumpy old asses at home!
February 5, 2007 at 9:29 pm |
In response to the earlier post from Zealander… a simple explanation can sum up alot of this iserveidiots website/restaurants. The simple explanation = Florida. I waitered in Florida when I lived there and oh.. my.. god.. honest to god dumbest people on the planet. The only thing I semi-disagree with is that it IS frustrating to have your sushi served like 10 minutes after someone else is served… but I also understand how hard it is to coordinate the 2.
February 6, 2007 at 11:56 am |
Believe it or not one night I had a woman complain that her salmon was not the 7oz. filet that was advertised in the menu. When I asked her why she thought it was smaller than advertised she told me she knew because the salmon was angled differently on the plate than the picture on the menu. People can be such idiots.
February 7, 2007 at 11:12 pm |
I’ve gotten a couple of emails about this, so I’ll explain:
The chefs in the back and the chefs that work on sushi work on completely different schedules. Nine minutes on a busy night is good. MOST people understand this and understand that when they order sushi AND entrees, it’s like ordering from two different restaurants.
Secondly, no, we don’t have “plate warmers”. We have a small heating lamp that can hold probably two lamps. I put my plates under that, but the dinner still doesn’t come out fresh and crispy.
May 7, 2008 at 10:09 am |
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